Cranio Healing with Mira

Somatic Solutions for Highly Sensitive Adults & Children

Highly Sensitive Children

Empowering Parents to Keep their Children Healthy

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Introduction

We’re living at an interesting time because the cracks in the status quo are starting to show. Issues like ADHD, autism, Asperger’s and environmental toxins are common knowledge. Campaigns are raging pro and against vaccination and all sorts of other issues affecting children are headline news. It doesn’t matter which side of the arguments you decide to support from my perspective. What matter is that you reached your conclusion yourself from your own experience and research, rather than believing someone else. Each child is different and parents know their own children best.

I was just recently in the USA where I was observing children and parents with great interest. The USA has the highest rates of autism, ADHD and childhood disorders on the planet. They have also have the most processed sugar and fat-laden diet, and have awarded 4 billion dollars in compensation to parents for vaccine injuries. There is plenty of food for thought…

Why Today’s Parents need Empowerment

The media run daily fear-inducing health scares and different business interests promote drugs as safe or preventative that then go on to kill people. Therefore parents need to be on their toes and using their common sense to screen some of the more harmful influences out of their children’s lives. Being embodied and noticing how things affect you or your child are essential. You have to be your own health advocate. This begins with food additives like MSG and aspartame, which are both extremely damaging to a growing child’s development. Many of the conditions I have seen in children have been treated solely with diet and supplementation. .This says a lot about both the poor quality of nutrition and children’s ability to bounce back. Their bodies have a strong innate healing capacity.

The reason that I feel parents need empowering is that clearly something is not all right as far as healthy child development is concerned. As a society something is off for children. And yet the information being offered by mainstream health professionals is not complete, based mainly on medicating rather than looking at diet and lifestyle, and often doesn’t make sense. Children are totally vulnerable to what their parents – or their school or culture – decide for them, and I’m here to help parents take a stand in their children’s best interests, whatever it is that they personally decide.

I’m not sure that there is a right and a wrong per se. Since every child is unique it is very important that each parent make their own assessment since they know their child by far the best. Vaccinate or not? How much and when? Special needs school or extra tuition? Additive-free diet or steroids for asthma? There are endless choices when issues arise. How do you decide?

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Tools for making health decisions

So what are the tools that parents need to make their own assessment of their child and meet their individual needs? I’ve spent decades observing children and getting inside their minds to see things from their perspective. I bring years of anthropological observation of indigenous cultures to what I do. My nervous system is in the extremely sensitive range, and the everyday challenges I face navigating normal life have given me tools that help me translate children’s experiences for their parents. What I discovered in the process is that there are two very key elements that parents need.

Embodied Experience or Presence

One is embodied experience – through using my body and emotions as a sensor or satellite dish I discovered that it is very simple to pick up what is going on for others. This is why I think craniosacral practice (learning to experience body sensation) is such a phenomenal tool for supporting parents. It helps them getting in touch with their own abilities to sense their children and know what’s going on. Absolutely anyone can learn this – it’s an innate human ability. Being present and embodied is just about learning to experience the current moment exactly as it is. If you’re interested in knowing more about this, you can find a variety of information here.

The first step to empowering you as parents to make positive decisions for your children is to enable you to sense your child and their needs for yourself. Then you can intuit what would support them. I call this looking afresh without judgment. It is extraordinary how simple things can become for the child when parents just take a good look with an open mind.

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Empathetic Attuned Relationship

The second skill that empowers parents is learning a more attuned way of relating. Some people call it empathy, others talk about attuned attention. It’s a way of relating to another person where you allow yourself to receive emotional and mental information about them without judging. It also includes learning to really listen without thinking or answering back.It makes all the difference to your child’s development because they need this in order to develop a sense of themselves and of their innate talents and characteristics.

The bonus is that apart from having a healthy child if you learn to do this you will likely never have to visit a psychologist or mental health professional with your child. You will have an exceptional understanding of your child that will fulfill you totally as a parent. And it’s actually very simple to do. There is more information on empathetic relating and some fascinating case studies of problem-solving in families on www.sensingchildren.com.

Communicate with your Child

Once you have got a sense of what you feel your child needs you can communicate this with them directly in an honest way. If you suggest a supplement for a child to take and explain why, they will also be able to tell you if it’s having the desired effect. Small children tend to be very honest and exact in their own descriptions of their physical and emotional state so you can get good feedback. You can figure out together what works best by trial and error, communication, and observation.

You are your child’s greatest ally

I believe that parents are the solution and greatest resource for whatever their children need whatever the cause of their children’s issues – yet we live in a global society that increasingly seems to try to tell parents what to do and to control our individual choices. This can be extremely frightening and confusing – yet if you just apply these three simple principles of sensing your body and being present, attuned relating and communication – you will be able to rely on your own perceptions.

Then you can choose your own path with peace of mind and a light heart. And as you do so, you will empower other parents to look again and open their minds afresh to observing their own children and meeting their real needs. Rather than their imagined ones. Just by applying your common sense and using your own perception when relating to your child, you can touch countless other parents and children’s lives by example. A different future begins with you.

Parenting Highly Sensitive Children in COVID19 times

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Supporting Highly Sensitive Children during COVID19

Introduction

If you as adults are finding these times a strain, you can assume its probably worse for the highly sensitive children. Many are feeling the whole COIVD19 saga unfolding but unable to rationalise or put words to the experience. The tension children are picking up may play out in many ways. It’s very common for there to be meltdowns over seemingly unrelated minor events. Disturbed sleep, heightened clinginess and anxiety, and physical symptoms like stomach cramps, headaches, asthma, and diarrhea may also occur. In this article we will look at each aspect to find practical solutions to minimise disruption to your child and preserve your sanity. We want you as the parent to be able to cope whilst you maximise your child’s resilience.

The key factor is YOU the parent

Probably the most important factor for your child is how you as parents are handling the whole situation. Children’s nervous systems mirror their parent’s in the same way that the bottom guitar string resonates if you pluck the top one. So getting your own fear and stress under control has to be the first priority. This is easier said than done especially if you are a highly sensitive parent – but there are ways. Some basic support mechanisms are:

  • slow your day down, take more breaks
  • make sure you get physical exercise because moving the body releases emotion and prevents traumatisation
  • breathe consciously as much as you can – both in but also out – the outbreath is crucial for releasing fear and anxiety
  • Limit social media and don’t watch the news at all. If you have to, do it with headphones so your child doesn’t pick up the negativity from the TV
  • Limit coffee and drink herbal teas; make sure you eat regular meals so your body doesn’t go into low blood sugar panic mode
  • be aware not to discuss political events or scientific theories in front of your child because they will pick up on the intense emotion of the times immediately and feel out of sorts.
  • The good news is that if you can remain relatively normal in your mood and activities, you create a bubble of protection from world events for your child, at least whilst you are inside your home. This will give them a foundation to rest and recover from whatever else they experience when they go out. This is absolutely essential.

Your own mindset is crucial

I can’t stress enough that whatever your mindset is regarding the virus and the political measures will directly affect your child’s mental and emotional health. So work on keeping the fear out, on keeping yourself centred and positive and being an active creative agent in your own life. Whatever you can do – be it plant vegetables, volunteer to support others, clean, decorate, plan or communicate please do it. The stronger and more resilient you get the easier things will be for your child.

Dealing with the global emotion

The general underlying tension outside of your home that is also affecting many adults will not go unfelt by your children. I’m talking about the global or even country energetic field of which we all form a part. The “alert” state of being hypervigilant that most people initially experienced for a few weeks happens when the parasympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) is aroused and can’t discharge. This is exhausting and many of us spent weeks without proper sleep or digestion.

Highly sensitive adults and children will pick up on this vibe and experience it as a real threat in their environment without being able to see what it is. If your child is old enough (probably 4-5 at least) then explaining the fear and tension that a lot of people are feeling about not being able to work, about changes happening may help your child to locate the fear as outside of themselves and put it aside. Making it separate and tangible can prevent trauma (overload) and settle the system.

The importance of Touch

Physical touch – hugging, foot massage, gentle shoulder rubs – whatever normally soothes your child – can be very helpful at regular intervals. Frightened children tend to dissociate and lose touch with their bodies, and so digestion stops, they get stomach cramps and also knock into things and have more accidents.

Common Anxiety Symptoms

If you see your child not eating normally, not sleeping and expressing sysmptoms of anxiety like diarrhea (fear/terror), stomach cramps, broken or disturbed sleep (nightmares) please check your own state first. The most important thing you can do for your child is be calm and grounded yourself. The next step is to find ways to help your child calm down again.

Relaxation and Emotional Regulation

Most parents generally notice as they go along what helps their children settle and relax. In case you are stuck for ideas, everything that promotes a sense of safety and wellbeing in the body helps. Keep things slow, low key and gentle… A warm bath with lavender oil or Epsom salts, reading stories by the fire, making fairy cakes together…

If your child is in a real state an activity like walking barefoot on the grass together may help. You can suggest that your child imagines a nose on the sole of each foot that is smelling the earth as they take each step. Walk together slowly, maybe holding hands, and as you sense the soles of your feet encourage your child to sense theirs using the nose… They usually love this and it gets them reconnected with their body fast. Be creative – ask if they can smell the daisies, the grass, the earth, the worms, etc. Notice if they are breathing. If not, do some big breaths into your lower belly together whilst standing on the grass.

Symptoms of fear

If your child has persistent stomach cramps, headaches, diarrhea or develops asthma this is not necessarily anything medical to worry about. (Although do see a doctor if you suspect your child is ill). These can all be and are actually common physical manifestations of fear which highly sensitive children are especially prone to. In this case  it might be helpful to see a child craniosacral therapist. They should be able to help relax the connective tissue in the abdomen/neck and stimulate the vagus nerve and sympathetic nervous system. If your child is hypersensitive or aroused most practitioners will be able to work without even touching your child. It’s a last resort but it can save you a lot of stress and worry.

How to deal with Clinginess

Has your child recently stopped being able to play on their own even for short periods, or are they demanding to sleep in your bed again? If you’re despairing that your child seems to have regressed developmentally since this all began your not alone. However please try to understand that this is a normal response. It happens when children are stressed, and it’s unlikely to be permanent. It’s just a sign of distress. Extra clinginess and not wanting to let their preferred adult out of sight would also be expected responses. Why? Because when you are fundamentally scared you want to cling onto whatever security you have at all costs. Your child is asking to feel all of you present with them so that they can feel reassured on a base survival level that someone is there for them. They need your full attention at this point.

It is incredibly challenging to have your child behave like a cling-on when they were previously at least a little independent. But if you push them away you will make things worse. You will leave a very frightened little person totally alone which I know is not what any parent does intentionally. Acceptance and reassurance would be more helpful responses. When you really can’t cope any more see if you can stay physically present but disconnect emotionally. That way you can take some space for yourself. Supplements such as magnesium or melatonin may help your child relax generally and also sleep at night. Sleep is so important for HSCs overall functioning and mood…

And the good news is…

Many highly sensitive children are actually thriving during this time of staying at home. Right now they are not having to deal with overwhelm at school and learning things that they don’t want to. So on the bright side, this can also be a great time for your child to develop a stronger sense of self and to find their own rhythm. Being creative and active creates a sense of power and agency. This minimises the risk of trauma and feelings of powerlessness that are so prevalent right now.

How can you help generate a positive experience for your child? Even setting daily tasks for help around the house like watering plants, clearing lego, making beds can serve this purpose. HS children love nature and caring for living things. You can plant seeds, grow tomatoes and basil for your windowsill, or even start an allotment. Caring for pets (and they don’t have to be your own) and doing errands for old people who need help right now are also activities that hs children can find a lot of calm and purpose in.

Conclusion

This epidemic is providing a pause. This is actually an incredibly fertile time for highly sensitive people of all ages. It allows us to be able to come back to the basics of nature, growing food and tending plants and the living environment. This can be a reset and foundation for all future activity. It also gives a good foundation for living at our own pace, and within one’s own optimal activity/rest/nutrition/social requirements. There is much less pressure from what is considered “normal” or social.  

So whatever problems you encounter in your child right now, try to see them as opportunities for bringing your child right into their own centre of optimal functioning, and also as a strengthening of your relationship with them as a parent. If you have any more specific questions about your child or would like to talk about your own emotional experiences please get in touch. I’d be happy to support you at this time.

© Mira Watson. Please feel free to share the text but always give due credit to the author.