Cranio Healing with Mira

Somatic Solutions for Highly Sensitive Adults & Children

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The importance of diet in treating childhood “learning disorders”, ADHD, Asperger’s, Tourette’s and allergies.

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by MIRA on APRIL 24, 2014

Introduction

I’ve always approached life from the perspective that if your mind is well, bodily health will follow. And this does seem to be true. But what about the epidemic of children with ADHD, Asperger’s, Tourette’s, allergies and learning disorders? Are they all mentally disturbed? That seems unlikely. There seems to be another important theme – a basic clean diet and functioning immune system are also essentials of bodily health.

A personal story

Sometimes the body doesn’t function well because of what gets put into it, and then it needs extra attention. I was recently reminded of a time when I was extremely sick myself, and the doctors didn’t know what to do. Having done a CAT scan, EEGs, numerous blood tests and other studies, they pronounced my inability to lift my head off my pillow or cut a loaf of bread “psychogical” and said they couldn’t help me. I was still unable to think, couldn’t digest anything and was so tired and weak I could hardly make it to the bathroom. My will was strong as iron but I felt as if I was disintegrating physically. I had searing pains in my head and back and could hardly string a sentence together – I kept telling the doctors my brain felt poisoned.

As it turned out later, this was probably true. I actually had candida through my digestive system following several courses of antibiotics for typhoid, as well as mercury poisoning from 8 vaccines which i had had within a two week period to prepare for travel abroad – a fact which the doctors did not find significant. Sitting in the doctors surgery clutching my belly and my head i tried to explain that it was a problem with my gut and my head. The fact that i collapsed into bed the day of the second lot of vaccinations semed to pass by unheeded. I was sent home. Fortunately I had a dream about a book that lead me to an elimination diet. Within three weeks of a wheat, dairy and sugar free diet, I was back in the gym. I was astounded. It was a long time before I was fully better, and a long struggle with the Candida in my whole gut for which I had to take two three month courses of the antifungal Nystatin – prescribed by a homeopathic doctor. A short while later my mind cleared. However I did get better from a situation in which several had hinted I might die. It wasn’t until years later that I found craniosacral therapy, which helped release the tensions in my head that had caused so much pain. It took me over ten years to get back to normal. It must be even worse for young children who have these kind of symptoms and can’t develop. The science validating my sense of the gut-brain connection didn’t become public until ten years later, but even now that we have this crucial information, it seems that it is still being overlooked by many.

So what about the sick children?

The issues that have prompted me to share this experience are that more and more children that are brought to me extremely sick are not being treated on any kind of dietary level, and I puzzled as to why not. When I was ill i only had my own experience of my body to go on, but in 2014 we have hard evidence from stool and gut flora tests on large groups of children. Dr Natasha Campbell-Bride states that

“The mixture of toxicity in each child or adult can be quite individual and different. But what they all have in common is gut dysbiosis. The toxicity, which is produced by the abnormal microbial mass in these people, establishes a link between the gut and the brain. That is why I have grouped these disorders together and gave them a name: the Gut and Psychology Syndrome (GAP Syndrome). The GAPS children and adults can present with symptoms of autism, ADHD, ADD, OCD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, schizophrenia, depression, sleep disorders, allergies, asthma and eczema in any possible combination. These are the patients who fall in the gap in our medical knowledge. Any child or adult with a learning disability, neurological or psychiatric problems should be thoroughly examined for gut dysbiosis. Re-establishing normal gut flora and treating the digestive system of the patient has to be the number one treatment for these disorders, before considering any other treatments with drugs or otherwise.”

There is a wealth of information available about Gut and Pshychology Syndrome – GAPS – a term coined by Dr Campbell-McBride to describe what i was trying to talk to doctors about twenty years ago, which happens when the balance of healthy and unhealthy bacteria in the gastro-intestinal tract get out of balance. This can be due to taking several courses of antibiotics, which disturb the gut flora and allow unhealthy bacteria to proliferate. There are other factors like the birth process, the mother’s gut flora during pregnancy, vaccinations and then how much sugar and additives a child eats daily that can all lead in the same direction. Children living at the current time face further hazards because the amount of chemical pollution in the air, in food and water increase daily. If their body’s ability to detoxify is compromised, as described below, then they really struggle with the extra modern environmental load.

What goes wrong in the gut?

 

The corrective diet is based on the theory that many disorders, including autism and ADHD, are caused by imbalance in the microflora or probiotics of the digetsive tract.   ?When the balance of the gut is disturbed, overgrowth of microbes creates inflammation and immune dysregulation.  This situation is similar to a sprained ankle.  There is swelling that puts pressure on all the cells in the area.  Swelling in the digestive tract allows material from the digestive tract to escape.  This is often described as “leaky gut”.   Harmful or undesirable microbes can also migrate to the small intestine where they compete for nutrients and disrupt digestion by damaging enzymes needed to break down food (like GLUTEN, CASEIN, SOY AND CORN).? ? Carbohydrates, that are not completely digested, stay in the digestive tract and become “food” for unhealthy microbes.  As the microbes digest the leftover carbohydrates, the fermentation damages the digestive tract.

The effects of gut imbalance

 

According to Dr Campbell-McBride,

“The most common pathogenic microbes shown to overgrow in the digestive systems of children and adults with neuro-psychiatric conditions are yeasts, particularly Candida species. Yeasts ferment dietary carbohydrates with production of alcohol and its by-product acetaldehyde. Let us see what does a constant exposure to alcohol and acetaldehyde do to the body.

  • Liver damage with reduced ability to detoxify drugs, pollutants and other toxins.
  • Pancreas degeneration with reduced ability to produce pancreatic enzymes, which would impair digestion.
  • Reduced ability of the stomach wall to produce stomach acid.
  • Damage to immune system.
  • Brain damage with lack of self-control, impaired co-ordination, impaired speech development, aggression, mental retardation, loss of memory and stupor.
  • Peripheral nerve damage with altered senses and muscle weakness.
  • Direct muscle tissue damage with altered ability to contract and relax and muscle weakness.
  • Nutritional deficiencies from damaging effect on digestion and absorption of most vitamins, minerals and amino acids.
  • Deficiencies in B and A vitamins are particularly common.
  • Alcohol has an ability to enhance toxicity of most common drugs, pollutants and other toxins.
  • Alteration of metabolism of proteins, carbohydrates and lipids in the body.
  • Inability of the liver to dispose of old neurotransmitters, hormones and other by-products of normal metabolism. As a result these substances accumulate in the body, causing behavioural abnormalities and many other problems.

Acetaldehyde is considered to be the most toxic of alcohol by-products. It is the chemical, which gives us the feeling of hangover. Anybody who experienced a hangover would tell you how dreadful he or she felt. Children, who acquire abnormal gut flora with a lot of yeast from the start, may never know any other feeling. Acetaldehyde has a large variety of toxic influences on the body. One of the most devastating influences of this chemical is its ability to alter the structure of proteins. Acetaldehyde – altered proteins are thought to be responsible for many autoimmune reactions. Children and adults with neuro-psychiatric problems are commonly found to have antibodies against their own tissues.”

That is one long and wide-reaching list of sysmptoms. Isn’t it asstounding that many of the symptoms that children with learning disorders experience, such as foggy brain, not being able to think or speak, inability to concentrate, co-ordinate their movement, involuntary muscle movements are all symptoms of digestive dysfunction and consequent central nervous sytem breakdown? When we look at the link between digestion and the brain function it becomes clear that in this whole spectrum of childhood symptoms, tackling diet can be a very useful start to improving bodily health and reducing symptoms. If substances are blocking and affecting nerve fucntioning int he brain, then those substances need to be removed urgently.

How can we tell if a child may have gut issues?

Even without medical tests, there are obvious physical symptoms like bloating, stomach-ache and frequent farting. Tiredness, lethargy, emotional swings, black circles under the eyes, and rough or lumpy facial skin are also common. From a simple practical perspecitve, when i look at a child i can sense immediately if they have internal disconnects. They don’t respond as fast, often have a foggy look around their eyes, move clumsily and just don’t seem all there.

Yesterday i was in the park with my sister’s son and his friend. I commented that the other boy seemed in quite a state, and she said he had recently had another lot of vaccinations and had been quite out of sorts since. She could see what i was describing – in her words “yes even i can see that broad as daylight”. These children need help and they need the adults around them to notice that there is a problem.

When children are diagnosed with a condition like Tourette’s which is said to be “untreatable” (not the case in my personal experience), the first place to look would be diet and gut health. Once gut health is restored and the immune system has been boosted symptoms are likely to imrpove. It just makes sense. Even if you doubt the science, it is worth following these procedures and taking the improvements in your child’s health as evidence that you are doing the right thing.

If symptoms don’t improve significantly, it is worth doing a general bodily detox for heavy metals. Again, you can google this online. It just involves taking certain supplements. If the body’s ability to detox is severely impaired, this may get it going again. Isn’t that a bit extreme? I hear you wonder. Yes, it does seem unlikely and shocking that a child as young as 8 or 9 years of age should need to detox their body. However the effects of vaccines, mercury fillings and heavy metals ingested form food can be extremely strong in some children, and the mercury that lodges in the brain really seems to impair cognitive function. I have no evidence for this other than the experiments I have done on myself, and my observations from watching what happens to people’s ability to think, their bodily ability to detox and their general levels of energy and well-being when they do a mercury detox. But isn’t that enough?

We are what we eat –  literally – and I think that the modern generation of western children sadly demonstrate that what is being eaten is sub-standard and a least partly toxic. Processed foods are not foods – they are mainly preservatives and additives – ie toxins. You only have to look at the figures for ADHD, Asperger’s, Autism and so on and realize how rapidly they have increased in the last decade to begin to wonder. Can it really just be that busy working parents are neglecting their children? It’s not likely to be the only factor. All these conditions seem to affect the central nervous system, in ways like those described by the effect of GAPS.

So if you have a child, or are yourself suffering from excessive tiredness, foggy thinking, inability to concentrate, low level depression, bloated stomach and gas, and difficutly digesting then take a look on the internet and inform yourself about a basic wheat, dairy and sugar free diet. It is also helpful to get a Candida test done, so that you know the extent of candida overgrowth in your gut. If so, you need to treat it as its very unlikely to die off completely just through diet. Supplement the diet with a good probiotic, omega 3s from a non-mercury contaminated source, and and grapefruit seed extract or another natural antimicrobial. If you or your child have cognitive issues, you also need to include all the B vitamins, especially vitamin B3, B6 and B12 (methylcoblamin), vitamin C, E and selenium to boost the immune system, MSM or alpha lipoic acid to get the detoxification process going again. These are the basics things to look at, but you will need to look up your own information. You may also need more specialist information on doing liver or kidney cleanses, but they are all available online, as well as from a variety of alternative health practitioners. Don’t listen to people who say it doesn’t help, because it does, it can really make all the difference in most cases, and can even safe your life.

Some useful websites for the basic information are:

www.gaps.me/?page_id=20 – basic info on the gut-brain connection to get you motivated

http://tariganter.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/anti-fungal-treatment-for-candida-and-intestinal-yeast-overgrowth/ – useful information on natural antifungals and nystatin protocol

There will be more information about healing childhood issues in my forthcoming book: Sensing Children. To find out about publication and follow new developments, please see my facebook page: Facebook/Mira-Watson-Author for more parenting and child health information.

All rights reserved. Mira Watson, April 24th, 2014

Please feel free to share this article, but please give credit to the author. Thank you

How Empathy can change the world – one child at a time

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Dear friends,

I have never met many of you who have signed up to receive inspirations. I’m so glad you did and thank you for being interested. Today i’m particularly excited about what i’m writing. Things around the globe are changing fast and many people are coming out with bold and timely ideas.

I have a vision of a planet full of people all doing what they love most, contributing their unique genius and spending their lives following their passions and enjoying themselves. Where my vision differs is that those people didnt have to do years of painful soul searching in mid-life after dysfunctional or unfulfilled lives. instead they were raised by parents who understood the importance of acknowledging their emotions and supporting their soul connection so they were living lives they loved right from the start.
Those parents who raised them are you – the parent reading this. You can be the cause of that reality. In fact you are the only person who can be. The future is literally in your hands.

Yes that sounds like a good idea, but Is it hard? How do i support my child’s soul connection? What are the practical aspects? you might be thinking.

It’s not hard – in fact it mainly involves being present and non-judgemental. Some people call it empathy. I call it Sensing Children. I’ve written a whole book about it because i think its so important. It comes naturally to me and I havealways known how to do it, but recently I’ve realised that I can describe how to do it step by step. Part of it is you getting more in touch with your own experience and the other aspect is an alert and aware way to be with your child. Being with, doing nothing. Whats important first and foremost is that are sensing and feeling yourself – because unless you can direclty experience yourself in a calm state where you observe whats going on inside you with spacious awareness, its impossible to accept another. So step 1 is being able to centre, ground and feel yourself. Modern life is very fast and chaotic so it can take some getting used to – but with ten minutes of practice a day you will get the hang of it. Step 2 is then almost automatic because this opens up a very spacious awareness that doesn’t judge. I describe it as observation without labelling – you look, but you don’t name things, you just feel and observe them. Just as facts, not as value-laden judgements. Even words like anger or shopping carry memmories and emotions for most people. Its possible to notice anger without labelling it anger, just by feeling and recognising the energy. You can notice facial expressions, physical sensations, unspoken words, thoughts, desires – its all there, and this is being with or non-judgement. Another word for it is love – and i experience it like an active love that we can choose to give.

Being with or not judging is a form of giving. You give space, give attention, give acceptance. And the person receiving feels acceptance, attention, space to be as they are and love. For these things are love. And they can only be given if you can first give them to yourself. What has all of this got to do with children’s souls? When you can be with yourself and children without judgement they stay connected with their souls, and their sense of joy and in being themselves increases. They have no reason to judge or disown parts of themselves, and they stay whole and able to express their soul’s creative impulses.

I have to say a few more words about the power of being with things as they actually are. People want things to be different which is why they come to see me. But what i do is i show them how they actually are, which is what they haven’t been seeing, and why there is a problem in the first place. Its quite humorous really that all i can actually give them is an experience of how they are, and this transforms them. But isn’t this a bigger lesson for life? That when we can really sink into how things are right now they open and move? It’s the resistance and reluctance to experience this very moment that causes all the pain. Especially when parents cant cope with how their children are. With parents it their acceptance of their own state and their feelings about the child that open all the doors for them to be with the child. There is nothing wrong with any of the feelings. Being a parent is an extremely tough and challenging job. In the moment that parents can accepet how they are it also suddenly becomes clear to them what to do or say with their child. It arises as a natural response once they become present and connect with themselves. Isnt that simple and elegant?

For more inspiration, simple practical suggestions and resources for parents please go to www.facebook.com and look up mira watson – author.

My book for parents called Sensing Children has just been submitted for publishing.
Please would you click “like” on that page as it increases my chances of getting the book published.

I am very shy of promoting myself or asking for help, however i feel its really important that the information in this book gets to as many parents as possible, so please do support me on facebook. I also post informational articles, links and questions that allow your concerns to be addressed in the book.

Thank you for reading.
You are welcome to share this article but please give credit to the author.
All rights reserved, Mira Watson 25th May 2014

Awakening in 2013: move from seeking to finding

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by MIRA on JANUARY 14, 2013

2012 has been and gone, and many are wondering what the fuss was about. Yet many people have experienced subtle shifts and changes, and are on the verge of breaking through to something new. If you can feel this, then likely it is true for you, and you are on your way to engaging your life purpose on a new level and contributing to creating new innovative initiatives and an alternate reality on planet earth. 2013 is an important year for setting these changes in motion, and each person counts.

Leaving the path behind and finding your own…

Yoga, meditation, silent retreats, fasts, detoxes, crystals, reiki, angels, past lives etc. The list of options is endless, and many become a personal religion. For what? In order to… What exactly? Be healthier? Happier? Earn more money? Receive inner guidance? Find our purpose? Sometimes we lose sight of why we embarked on these activites in the first place. Maybe we didn’t feel great, and wanted to still the mind, feel better, or heal a pain or sickness, or have better relationships. But somewhere along the way being a spiritual seeker can become an identity for the ego that helps it feel more secure, more established, more solid – just as the office job or family role might have been before… except now you are someone who believes in and studies angesl…and then there are seemingly endless versions of therapies, bodywork, techniques, changing your beliefs, each of which claim to be the holy grail. People learn different aspects of awareness and embodiment from different practices at different times, so in a way they are helpful. But there is more…

Awakening…

Some people dont just want to get fixed, they want to awaken. Some even think awakening will fix them! Maybe they will be peaceful at last, and free of suffering… They earnestly pursue vipassana silent meditations, hang our with their enlightened guru on endless seminars and still, despite gathering vast amounts of knowledge and practices, nothing fundamental changes. Even after five years of eating raw. The thing, whatever it is, still eludes them. How do they know? Becasue they’re still seeking. So what is it? What is this elusive thing that these people are after, and how do you get it?

Who am I?

Well, the tricky thing is, the part of us that wants it is the same part that prevents us from having it. Or seen another way, the seeking activity of the ego, even though it is oh so spiritual, is exactly the thing that keeps us stuck. Seeking, wanting, is a mind activity. Its just another identity as a spiritual person. You still think you are that personality. Until there is no mind, no identification with thought patterns, there is no awakening. To find it, you have to just give up, just be here in this moment. And there it is. Right there inside you. Just where it was all along. In plain English, this is the same wisdom that is at the basis of every religion, spiritual teaching, writing and practice. The gurus are the ones who have stopped looking on the outside and been brave enough to find it alone on the inside.

Seeing is believing

And yet…  many of these practices like bodywork and yoga can be extremely useful tools. Although your thinking mind cannot be fixed, they are tools to help you see it for what it is and not allow it to run the show. Seeing the workings of your mind from the inside is something only you can do. No one can do it for you. If you use whichever of these practices attract you to increase your present moment awareness of sensation in the body, they can slowly enhance your overall ability to be aware. Detoxing and specialised nutrition can raise your body’s energetic state and increase awareness. As your awareness increases, you can use it to see through your habitual behavioral patterns, layer by layer. This is the real agenda beneath most spiritual practices, yet it often gets lost along the way. Each layer that you can observe dispassionately, without needing to fix or change it, will lose it’s power to take you over and make you think it is you. It is not. You are the awareness that is observing, quietly peacefully and utterly content with the way things are in the present momentum. This is rarely pointed out in yoga or other classes, because there is often so much concern with the body or other aspects of physical life that we miss the important bit – that we are not the body, we are not the emotions, we are not our personality. What we are is the life that animates us and all other life on the planet. Taken to its logical conclusion, the point of a yoga class is to open your energy centres and connect you internally with your awareness to the point that you can sense this connection with the others in the class and the plants outside, and let go of thinking you are a separate individual… If you’ve recently been to a yoga class that took you there, then please tell all your friends… How would you know? After such an experience your life would change fundamentally because you would drop your personal identity. You would be at peace on a very deep level… And by the way, you can awaken without ever having done yoga, or eating raw. There are no prerequisites in that sense.

Observing the robot within

What’s amazing is that so much of our daily experience is automatic and robotic that we don’t even realize it’s coming from the mind’s repetitive patterns. Many people are very negative about life without realising,  and always expect bad things or constantly complain. The fastest way to realize what your’re doing and shift your awareness is to sit with a practitioner who is present and can convey this experience of peace and disidentification to you. Once you have felt the experience of being peaceful, and it has really sunk in, you will begin to recognize all the other things that are created by the mind much more clearly.

You will see for yourself that nothing about you is broken, nothing needs to be fixed. You don’t necessarily need to learn any more or change. You will realize the pointlessness of endless talking bout your family history – though this is of course a necessary phase that many people need to go through for themselves, before they realize they are not Jenny or Philip or Sam, and the past experience and emotion has been felt and integrated. No matter what level you reach in bending backwards in yoga, nothing guarantees peace. Except if somewhere along the way you begin to accept how you are right now and to just surrender to this moment. Then a space can open, where the mind is quiet or silent, and you can experience your connection with the whole of life. This is maybe the background to many of the therpeutic practices, but watch the mind’s tendency to want to get fixed or get better, because that’s not it. There is no end to what can be wrong, there is always something.  The point is to become aware enough to leave the fascination with all of that altogether and stop engaging at that level. The physical emotional human aspect is only part of who you are. It is only when we step away from all that and lean back and let go into our true nature as life itself that the seeking ends.

Oops, i am nothing

Many people find it really hard to handle experiencing themselves as space, as non-judgemental and indifferent life itself, as nothingness. Of not being anyone. It can be frightening, but we get used to it, and we can dip in and out of it initially, as we let go gradually of our old idea of self. Of course, its really shocking that after all this seeking, what we find is that there was actually nothing to fix or find. When we see we are not our names, or our family story, or our occupational role, or our past or our bodies there is in fact nothing left. Yet this nothing is life itself, it animates everything in us, around us, under and above us. It is undeniable in when experienced directly. We are life. We don’t need personalities to live and assert themselves at the expense of others, to gain power over them. Our bodies know how to live without thought. They just carry on, even when the mind has let go.

A simple question: do you feel that if people had to think in order to breathe, digest, pump blood etc that many people would still be alive? I think its unlikely. They’d forget, or get stressed and do it wrong. Our thinking minds could never fathom the complexity and sheer volume of information necessary to regulate the chemical, hormonal and nervous systems in our bodies. It all just happens without “us” as we identify ourselves, taken care of by LIFE. To think that our little individual personalities could possibly have any effect on the overall course of events is a delusion. It is a way of trying to make ourselves feel strong and important. We are not. We are tiny parts of a whole living system on planet earth. That doesn’t mean we can’t be incredibly influential and powerful as individuals. But only if our actions are aligned with life itself. That is, they arise from that peaceful expanded place beyond or underneath the little me.

Disidentifying from “me”

How can we find this place in our everyday lives? Having a craniosacral session is one way to still the mind and sink into that deep space. Craniosacral uses the universal intelligence or presence, the nothing-not-me to build up the core reservoir of energy in the body so it can move and open up our central channel and open blockages, in a similar way to yoga, but on a much deeper and more subtle level. This can help us to learn to be able to observe our own psyche from the inside. Ultimately it’s about where you put your focus, and what you identify with. At some point it’s necessary to shift away from thinking you are a particular person or role, to feeling and experiencing yourself as the pure awareness that is observing and having your human experience. And also everyone elses! To do that at some point you have to let go. Whether it’s your partner, work, home or whole life, it will happen how and when it’s meant to. Whatever last familiar aspect of your old self you are hanging onto will invite you to step away. When you do so, you won’t die, and your life won’t end. There may be some sadness and release of anger for a while, as your energy stops holding and opens up to your natural vibrant state of aliveness. You may also experience loosening or release in your neck and cranial base. And then your external life may take on a new form, or you go back to your old life but with a changed perspective and attitude. You will be peaceful and free, no longer influenced by others and events outside you in your fundamental peace.

Awakening intensive sessions

My work has evolved over the last two years to a very fine tuned accelerated process for peeling away layers of conditioning in the mind and holding in the body. Old emotions, memories and sicknesses surface and clear. Depending mainly on your willingness and readiness, not on previous work, in three to four sessions you can be taken through your individual process of letting go of who you were, layer by layer. This is a very intense process and can be literally mind-blowing, or sometimes just a gentle relief. Sometimes it only takes one session, which can be by skype too. I doesn’t seem to make much difference when you are ready to do it.  I sometimes use craniosacral bodywork to work on the deeper levels of unconscious holding in the body that contain keys to personality structures so that they can unravel and fall away. People’s lives open and begin to blossom creatively.  That is what happens when you recognize your own habitual patterns and let them go. When you step into the unknown anything is possible… Anything. Letting go is much easier than holding on, but it takes more courage. Maybe reading this article has already given you every thing you need for the shift to happen. If you feel you almost get it but not quite, and you get a shiver or a sense of excitement reading this, please get in touch. I offer these intensives by skype or in person.

I wish you a happy new year and much enjoyment being yourself…

If you found this article interesting, you might want to read my ebook: the Survival Guide to Awakening which details aspects of the process and how to deal with arising emotions and practical aspects…

All rights reserved. Mia Watson, January 13th 2012

Please feel free to share this article, but please give credit to the author. Thank you

Tagged as: angels, awakening, awakening intensive sessions, Craniosacral therapy, crystals, detox, disidentifying, fasting, finding your purpose, guru, meditation, past lives, quieting the mind, raw food, reiki, silent retreats, Spiritual Awakening and Craniosacral therapy, vipassana, yoga

 

 

A Basic Guide to Highly Sensitive Children

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by Mira on AUGUST 13, 2011

Highly Senstivie Children – what sensitive children need and how to give it to them. Calm play in nature is an important component…


Introduction

If you are the parent of a sensitive child you may be familiar with the frustration and mystery of trying to work out what your child needs, what they are trying to communicate and what to do to help them develop. This article is intended as a guide to orient parents, school teachers and relatives to know where to start. It contains pointers to help you learn to feel and relate to their child, and to understand what their world is like from the inside.

In broad srokes, Highly Sensitive Children often need help calming their nervous systems, processing emotion, and learning to name and express the wealth of sensations and emotions they are experiencing. They expereince everything on volume ten and when it gets too loud they melt down, just like a fuse. No two children are the same, yet this article contains the broader principles within which you as adults can work out the details by observation, trial and error. You may also find it helpful to work with a practitioner (like myself, most craniosacral therapists, and those who work with gifted/senstive adults and children) who is trained to focus on perceiving at a very sensitive level, as they can be of great assistance in translating the child’s world and experience you as the parents, and facilitate a more satisfactory relationship between you and child… S/he may be able to help you as parents or teacher adjust to the child’s needs and show you how to make the more empathetic contact that will support the child’s healthy development.

What do Sensitive Children Need?

Being taken more seriously, faster responses to their emotional needs… more time and space to recover from activity and figure things out for themselves… soothing…

Sensitivity is not just an inconvenience or something that you can make disappear if it doesn’t suit you. One if five people seems to have a much more sensitive nervous system than other people. This means that their experience is heightened – things are louder, brighter, faster and much deeper for these kind of people. They are more easily overwhelmed and take longer to recover than others. They feel things more intensely, need to process events more thoroughly and tend to be very careful about making decisions to do things… only acting when they are absolutely sure… Such people also respond extremely well to craniosacral therapy because it is sensitive and does not overwhelm their delicate nervous systems. This is true for adults as well as children. However if parents can acknowledge and support their child’s sensitivity, such a child can grow up healthy with their figts in tact, rather than being heavily traumatised and having little confidence – so it’s well worth the effort.

How are their requirements different from those of other children? 

They need more sensitive parenting! In practise, that means that attuned attention or precise emotional empathy is vital. Imagine a child with a highly magnified bubble around them full of their own experiences and thoughts and observations. Their nervous system picks up every nuance and change in the surroundings. Their life is rich with things they want to share with you. Showing you a sesame seed on their finger tip for example. A caterpillar on a leaf. Chalk dust under the blackboard. If you don’t make the effort to tune into their world as a parent, you will miss out on connecting with them, and they are left with the sense of being totally alone, unconnected and ignored. They will try to make sense of this by assuming they are wrong and will think their needs are not relevant, which can be really crippling for such sensitive children.. The cycle of self-criticism and self-denial begins, and often leads to later depression and relational problems.

Importance of Attuned Attention and Emotional Regulation

More than other children, they really can’t exist without daily quality attention and feedback on their states. They require a more immediate response to their emotional needs than other children because their sensitivity means they don’t have as much tolerance. A small change in their internal environment may feel huge and very frightenting, and if left unattended leads to shock and then trauma as the nervous system overloads and shuts down. Highly sensitive children react more intensely when their blood sugar falls and they get hungry. A highly senstitive child can’t be asked to wait to eat when they are hungry, or the internal storm of sensation and emotion becomes so intense that the rest of the day is a wipe-out. This is not a dysfunction in the child, but rather the result of a highly sensitive nervous system with less slack or tolerance of extremes.

They also tend to appear to be “shy” in that they pull away from new people and observe. Its not actually the case that they are shy, but rather that they perceive a lot more than other kids, and take longer to process the information. They also test people carefully to see whether they are respectful of their needs and boundaries or not, and physically run away from adults who unknowlingly try to overwhelm them. This is a very healthy trait and should be respected and encouraged. Such children know what they can and can’t handle, and even at age 12 months are taking active care of themselves.

So as the parent of such a child, you need to be present and connected with your feelings and sensations, rather than lost in thought. This will allow you to perceive what is going on with your child, and to respond instinctively through the connection you build up with them. If you don’t know how to do this, craniosacral treatments can be a huge support for you in helping you to learn to feel, to connect with yourself, and to be able to connect with your child. I currently offer a course of weekly sessions online to enable you to practise getting embodied step by step and stay present.

How Craniosacral Therapy can help deal with Sensitivity

Craniosacral therapy also opens up blocks in your core energy, and can enable you to be more present and freer with expressing your instincts. This will probably help you more than any parenting “technique” in accessing your instinctual response to your child, to give them the stimulus they need developmentally, soothe them when distressed etc. Even if you feel you don’t know how to parent, the thousands of years of human parenting are stored in your body and will naturally come out at the appropriate time if you allow yourself to set aside you thinking, your fear of getting it wrong, and the ideas you’ve been told. Everyone can parent, its literally, natural! Craniosacral therapy can help you get back in touch with that embodied nature…

Highly sensitive children are ususally very sensitive to sound and smell, and easily disturbed by abrupt movments, loud aggressive people, and hysterical or frightened behaviour. These are kids who really need adults to calm down before they approach them because their systems are to sensitive that they pick up and resonate with the slightest hint of emotion or nervous energy, and they don’t have the capacity to get themselves calm whilst the stimulous is still around.

If you as the parent are a highly strung or nervous, then they are likely to suffer constantly… which is why working on your own calm as a priority is even more important for these children. Again, learning to regulate your own nervous system or self soothe through craniosacral sessions can be highly beneficial.

And your child can benefit immensely from having the chance to learn to feel sensation in their own body during a quiet, safe craniosacral session when they will not be overwhelmed or too frightened to cope. Craniosacral sessions can also help them to begin to learn to name emotions, allow anger and express their inner states and needs. In a normal family environment this can be very hard for sensitive children because they just cant seem to find enough space or quiet to get connect with themselves, and parents may simly not know be able to tell what they need. They tend to end up rather quiet, lost and ghost-like which is a shame given the huge amount of felt experience and imagination they have to contribute to life. By paying proper attention as the parent you can help them connect with life more fully.

More rest and quiet time

Highly sensitive children also need more down time to rest between activities. In general it is not that they are anti-social, but they tend to enjoy their own company, and need solitary time every day because other people are so “loud” energetically and emotionally that they smother and squash them so they can’t feel themselves. Once their nervous systems get aroused they take longer to calm back down to a comfortable state, and they are also more affected by eg. A visit to the swings, or a friend coming to play. They take longer to recover and come back to themselves. Similarly, if you give them strong or sugary foods, they may react more than a less senstivie child. This doesn’t mean they need to be sheltered from life, but rather shown more tolerance in handling their experience, and space to work out what they need for themselves without interference.

Above all they need to be taken seriously. When a boy says he wants to play football for 5 minutes in the garage, then he really does want that, and out in the patio is not the same. A sensitive child will feel denial of his wishes as an extreme hurt and rejection of his self, whereas a more robust child might be able to brush it off.

Relating to sensitive children effectively

Parents of sensitive children need to be careful not to dominate them with their own emotions, and to leave plenty of space and time in conversations for these children to form their own opinions and responses. This can be agonisingly slow and frustrating, especially when there are other children in the family who are not like this. However if you don’t make these allowances you give the child the message that they should be different. Not only does this destroy their self-worth, but it is an impossible demand on their nervous system, which can only process things at the speed and volume that it does, and it can create physiological problems, nervous system distrubances and eventually extreme trauma.

What does not dominating your children mean in practice? In practical terms it means asking questions without expecting a particular answer. It means listening openly without thinking, and experiencing the answers without reacting. It means not forcing them to do what you want, but letting them be and negotiating a course of action. In energetic terms it means speaking only after you can feel your feet, are calm and with yourself, and to check that you can feel yourself, and feel the child when you communicate. If you take the time to sense yourself, you will feel where the edge of your being or energy meets your child, and whether you are meeting them at the right distance and intensity to make them feel comfortable and able to respond. If this is something that is unfamiliar to you or you would like to know more, i offer face to face sessions by zoom, where i show you how to increase your awareness and ability to relate empathetically to your children. In addition, having craniosacral therapy will support this process by helping you to learn to feel your own body and experience your own emotions. These are simple but essential steps in being able to relate effectively to a highly sensitive child.

Tagged as: calming nervous system, Craniosacral therapy, effective parenting, emotional regulation, highly sensitive child, relating to children, sensitivity

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

netty puji rahayu February 26, 2012 at 3:27 pm

really useful articke for me at the momet, thanks.

by Mira on AUGUST 13, 2011

If you are the parent of a sensitive child you may be familiar with the frustration and mystery of trying to work out what your child needs, what they are trying to communicate and what to do to help them develop. Craniosacral therapy can be a useful tool both for treating parents of sensitive children to help them to learn to feel and relate to their child, and for the child also. Sensitive children often need help calming their nervous systems, processing emotion, and learning to name and express the wealth of sensations and emotions they are experiencing. Since the craniosacral practitioner is trained to focus on perceiving at a very sensitive level, s/he can be of great assistance in translating the child’s world and experience to the parents, and facilitating a satisfactory relationship between parents and child… S/he may be able to help the parents adjust to their child’s needs and show them how to make the more empathetic contact that will support the child’s healthy development.

What do Sensitive Children Need?

Being taken more seriously, faster responses to their emotional needs… more time and space to recover from activity and figure things out for themselves… soothing…

Sensitivity is not just an inconvenience or something that you can make disappear if it doesn’t suit you. One if five people seems to have a much more sensitive nervous system than other people. This means that their experience is heightened – things are louder, brighter, faster and much deeper for these kind of people. They are more easily overwhelmed and take longer to recover than others. They feel things more intensely, need to process events more thoroughly and tend to be very careful about making decisions to do things… only acting when they are absolutely sure… Such people also respond extremely well to craniosacral therapy because it is sensitive and does not overwhelm their delicate nervous systems. This is true for adults as well as children. However if parents can acknowledge and support their child’s sensitivity, such a child can grow up healthy with their figts in tact, rather than being heavily traumatised and having little confidence – so it’s well worth the effort.

How are their requirements different from those of other children? 

They need more sensitive parenting! In practise, that means that attuned attention or precise emotional empathy is vital. Imagine a child with a highly magnified bubble around them full of their own experiences and thoughts and observations. Their nervous system picks up every nuance and change in the surroundings. Their life is rich with things they want to share with you. Showing you a sesame seed on their finger tip for example. A caterpillar on a leaf. Chalk dust under the blackboard. If you don’t make the effort to tune into their world as a parent, you will miss out on connecting with them, and they are left with the sense of being totally alone, unconnected and ignored. They will try to make sense of this by assuming they are wrong and will think their needs are not relevant, which can be really crippling for such sensitive children.. The cycle of self-criticism and self-denial begins, and often leads to later depression and relational problems.

Importance of Attuned Attention and Emotional Regulation

More than other children, they really can’t exist without daily quality attention and feedback on their states. They require a more immediate response to their emotional needs than other children because their sensitivity means they don’t have as much tolerance. A small change in their internal environment may feel huge and very frightenting, and if left unattended leads to shock and then trauma as the nervous system overloads and shuts down. Highly sensitive children react more intensely when their blood sugar falls and they get hungry. A highly senstitive child can’t be asked to wait to eat when they are hungry, or the internal storm of sensation and emotion becomes so intense that the rest of the day is a wipe-out. This is not a dysfunction in the child, but rather the result of a highly sensitive nervous system with less slack or tolerance of extremes.

They also tend to appear to be “shy” in that they pull away from new people and observe. Its not actually the case that they are shy, but rather that they perceive a lot more than other kids, and take longer to process the information. They also test people carefully to see whether they are respectful of their needs and boundaries or not, and physically run away from adults who unknowlingly try to overwhelm them. This is a very healthy trait and should be respected and encouraged. Such children know what they can and can’t handle, and even at age 12 months are taking active care of themselves.

So as the parent of such a child, you need to be present and connected with your feelings and sensations, rather than lost in thought. This will allow you to perceive what is going on with your child, and to respond instinctively through the connection you build up with them. Craniosacral treatments can be a huge support for you in helping you to learn to feel, to connect with yourself, and to be able to connect with your child.

How Craniosacral Therapy can help deal with Sensitivity

Craniosacral therapy also opens up blocks in your core energy, and can enable you to be more present and freer with expressing your instincts. This will probably help you more than any parenting “technique” in accessing your instinctual response to your child, to give them the stimulus they need developmentally, soothe them when distressed etc. Even if you feel you don’t know how to parent, the thousands of years of human parenting are stored in your body and will naturally come out at the appropriate time if you allow yourself to set aside you thinking, your fear of getting it wrong, and the ideas you’ve been told. Everyone can parent, its literally, natural! Craniosacral therapy can help you get back in touch with that embodied nature…

Highly sensitive children are ususally very sensitive to sound and smell, and easily disturbed by abrupt movments, loud aggressive people, and hysterical or frightened behaviour. These are kids who really need adults to calm down before they approach them because their systems are to sensitive that they pick up and resonate with the slightest hint of emotion or nervous energy, and they don’t have the capacity to get themselves calm whilst the stimulous is still around.

If you as the parent are a highly strung or nervous, then they are likely to suffer constantly… which is why working on your own calm as a priority is even more important for these children. Again, learning to regulate your own nervous system or self soothe through craniosacral sessions can be highly beneficial.

And your child can benefit immensely from having the chance to learn to feel sensation in their own body during a quiet, safe craniosacral session when they will not be overwhelmed or too frightened to cope. Craniosacral sessions can also help them to begin to learn to name emotions, allow anger and express their inner states and needs. In a normal family environment this can be very hard for sensitive children because they just cant seem to find enough space or quiet to get connect with themselves, and parents may simly not know be able to tell what they need. They tend to end up rather quiet, lost and ghost-like which is a shame given the huge amount of felt experience and imagination they have to contribute to life. By paying proper attention as the parent you can help them connect with life more fully.

More rest and quiet time

Highly sensitive children also need more down time to rest between activities. In general it is not that they are anti-social, but they tend to enjoy their own company, and need solitary time every day because other people are so “loud” energetically and emotionally that they smother and squash them so they can’t feel themselves. Once their nervous systems get aroused they take longer to calm back down to a comfortable state, and they are also more affected by eg. A visit to the swings, or a friend coming to play. They take longer to recover and come back to themselves. Similarly, if you give them strong or sugary foods, they may react more than a less senstivie child. This doesn’t mean they need to be sheltered from life, but rather shown more tolerance in handling their experience, and space to work out what they need for themselves without interference.

Above all they need to be taken seriously. When a boy says he wants to play football for 5 minutes in the garage, then he really does want that, and out in the patio is not the same. A sensitive child will feel denial of his wishes as an extreme hurt and rejection of his self, whereas a more robust child might be able to brush it off.

Relating to sensitive children effectively

Parents of sensitive children need to be careful not to dominate them with their own emotions, and to leave plenty of space and time in conversations for these children to form their own opinions and responses. This can be agonisingly slow and frustrating, especially when there are other children in the family who are not like this. However if you don’t make these allowances you give the child the message that they should be different. Not only does this destroy their self-worth, but it is an impossible demand on their nervous system, which can only process things at the speed and volume that it does, and it can create physiological problems, nervous system distrubances and eventually extreme trauma.

What does not dominating your children mean in practice? In practical terms it means asking questions without expecting a particular answer. It means listening openly without thinking, and experiencing the answers without reacting. It means not forcing them to do what you want, but letting them be and negotiating a course of action. In energetic terms it means speaking only after you can feel your feet, are calm and with yourself, and to check that you can feel yourself, and feel the child when you communicate. If you take the time to sense yourself, you will feel where the edge of your being or energy meets your child, and whether you are meeting them at the right distance and intensity to make them feel comfortable and able to respond. If this is something that is unfamiliar to you or you would like to know more, you can take the transformational parenting course by skype or in person, and learn the details of how to increase your awareness and ability to relate empathetically to your children. Having craniosacral therapy will support this process by helping you to learn to feel your own body and experience your own emotions. These are simple but essential steps in being able to relate effectively to a highly sensitive child.

Tagged as: calming nervous system, Craniosacral therapy, effective parenting, emotional regulation, highly sensitive child, relating to children, sensitivity

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

netty puji rahayu February 26, 2012 at 3:27 pm

really useful articke for me at the momet, thanks.